4 Things You Have To Establish Before You Commit To Someone

There are many reasons so many relationships in America fail: miscommunication, lack of trust, egotistical behavior, cheating, lying, neglect and lack of respect for your significant other are just a handful.

Through my own personal experiences and mistakes in the world of dating, I have gathered the facts and come to a conclusion or two.

These are four of the cornerstones that I feel you must utilize to have a healthy relationship:

Trust

If you can’t trust your girlfriend or boyfriend to go to the bars with his or her friends when you’re stuck at work, then you shouldn’t be dating this person. Relationships are built on trust, and as soon as it’s gone, so is the love.

Sure, everyone has fears and concerns about his or her significant other cheating, but to call your boyfriend or girlfriend out on it before it ever happens just makes you look jealous and insecure.

There’s no need to act jealous if your partner is talking to someone at a party. In the long run, if your partner is cheating on you, then he or she is, in fact, the one who is f*cking up, not you.

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Patience

You need to take the time to build an emotional bond with someone if you want your partnership to pan out. There have been too many times that I have woken up next to a girl I only had a physical, not emotional, connection to.

Not only is it more attractive to have something more to offer than just sex, it is also more enlightening, both spiritually and mentally.

No one’s perfect, and although we all have our dream lover conceptualized in our heads, life is probably never actually going to be that way. We have to accept each other’s faults, share our concerns with one another, work through problems together and love each other unconditionally in order to make it work.

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Inner Happiness

You should be content with where you are in your life and happy with yourself before committing to anyone. Although it may sound selfish to be content with who you are before you add someone else to the mix, it’s actually the reverse.

Too many people nowadays expect to be happy in a relationship when they aren’t even happy with themselves. In the long run, a miserable person’s inner struggle will destroy a relationship, no matter how good he or she is at hiding it.

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Respect

Aretha Franklin had it right when she said, “R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Find out what it means to me.” Mutual respect in a relationship is essential because there’s absolutely no reason you should be with someone who doesn’t view you as an equal.

From presents and surprises to introducing each other to your families, the respect for one another should be on the same level. If she’s in trouble, you are too, and you need to figure a way out of it together.

There are certainly a lot more factors that go into making a relationship work, and there is definitely much more I still have to learn, myself, but if you make sure the above four things are locked down, you’re off to a great start in your new relationship.

6 Reasons Everyone Should Work In A Restaurant At Least Once

6 Reasons Everyone Should Work In A Restaurant At Least Once

Everyone goes out to eat, have a beer, or socialize. But not everyone that goes out has worked within the confines of a restaurant and truly experienced what it's like to deal with other people. From indecisiveness, stupidity, neediness, and vulgar behavior the restaurant industry is a show room floor for people's flaws. Here are the 7 reasons that everyone should work in a restaurant or service job at least once in their life.

Self-Respect: Self-respect is one of the cornerstones of life, but it is also key to not letting the service industry get you down. From the people that talk down to you on an every day basis to your boss that asks unreasonable and sometimes questionable tasks of you, you learn that being able to look past all of this and focus on the things you have going for you makes you a stronger individual. You also come to terms with the fact that you shouldn't bother listening to the opinions of some people, the only person that truly knows who you are is yourself.

Tipping: For a good server, a bad tip is like a kick in the dick. Or pussy, the former just rhymed. People who ask their server for a new type of dipping sauce or an extra napkin every-time their server is at the table, and then don't tip, deserve to be publicly shamed. If the service is good, the server deserves to be reciprocated with some sort of grateful acknowledgment. I'll do laps around the restaurant for you as long as you reward me like your favorite dog. Working at a restaurant you realize that people who do a good job deserve to be rewarded for their services; when your friend buy you a beer, you get the next round. Same with service, your bar-tender makes you a drink, you tip him.

Patience: If you have worked in a restaurant before you would definitely concur that an inpatient guest is the worst. I can't recall how many times I have had people nag me about how much longer their well-done, no tomato, extra pickle, lettuce on the side, gluten-free bun, substitute a salad for the fries with lite dressing is going to take 5 minutes after they ordered it. Sometimes I feel like guests think that we take the order slip, type in the order, put it in the microwave from back to the future and poof! Food's ready. Hate to break your heart, but the angry cook in the back of the house has to actually prepare your meal, so please, give us a couple minutes to appease you. Also, as much as we love to talk to you and know about your dog's birthday party, on a Friday night when the restaurant is packed and we have 6 tables, when we come up to you, we expect you to be ready to order.

Dedication: You must have to be very dedicated to what you believe is your actual plan in life while you are working in the service industry. Even if you plan on being a bar-tender or a chef it takes a lot of focus on what you want your end goal to be to succeed in this industry. Even Zen Monks, spend part of their day servicing others because it teaches them humility, how to not be selfish, and how helping others can not only improve their day but also yours. Dedication in life is crucial to prolonged success for without unwavering dedication to your goals you cannot achieve what you set out to do.

Manners: As a server you learn to appreciate people that have manners, those are the people you take care of and make your priority because they treat you like a human being and not a hamburger that wasn't cooked long enough. On the flip side, you also learn to have manners, if you didn't already have any, while working in a restaurant or bar. You come to realize that the more courteous and pleasing you are to those around you the more you will be treated the same.

Appreciation: After working in a restaurant you begin to appreciate things; being off work before midnight, not being afraid to talk to strangers in any situation, being treated like a human being, knowing where to get the cheapest drinks, etc. An appreciation of the small things in life will not only help you determine what you need to do to get to a place where you are content with your surroundings but also provide you with a deeper understanding of who you are as a person and and what you can do to improve yourself. You learn to appreciate yourself and those who are positive influences in your life much more.

“Simplicity, patience, compassion.
These three are your greatest treasures.
Simple in actions and thoughts, you return to the source of being.
Patient with both friends and enemies,
you accord with the way things are.
Compassionate toward yourself,
you reconcile all beings in the world.”

Lao Tzu, “Tao Te Ching”